When we spend time watching others its too easy to become a little envious (jealous), to want what they have, to aspire to be what they are. Some say it's good to aspire to be like someone, achieve what someone else has achieved and then, when you get there you will be happy. But it's impossible. We want the lives of others, the achievements of others, the prestige of others, and in the wanting we will find the threads of discontentment, fear of possible failure, envy and jealousy. We cannot be someone else. We can only 'be ourself' and can only play our own assigned role.
Question: Who is it in your life that you envy or would most like to be like or attain what they have attained?
Reflection: What sort of feelings/emotions come up when you are watching them or thinking about them?
Action: What will you/can you do to free yourself from aspiring to be someone else?
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
The cracked pot
The Cracked Pot
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfectly made and never leaked. The other pot had a crack in it and by the time the water bearer reached his master's house it had leaked much of it's water and was only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Moral of the Story:
Each of us has our own unique Strengths and weaknesses. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, God will use our flaws to grace his table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. So appreciate your strengths and acknowledge your flaws and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength. Help your colleagues to explore the same for themselves by giving your honest feedback and be the cause of beauty to them.
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfectly made and never leaked. The other pot had a crack in it and by the time the water bearer reached his master's house it had leaked much of it's water and was only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Moral of the Story:
Each of us has our own unique Strengths and weaknesses. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, God will use our flaws to grace his table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. So appreciate your strengths and acknowledge your flaws and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength. Help your colleagues to explore the same for themselves by giving your honest feedback and be the cause of beauty to them.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Relationship between happiness and negative feelings
When negative feelings and emotions come to disturb your happiness, what do you do?
First - understand these feelings will come. They come from the past. You stored them up in your subconscious yesterday, last year or may be when you were a child. And they have to come out.
Second – don't fight or struggle with them. Just watch them, observe them, accept them, but don't identify with them, they will pass with just as easily as clouds roll across the sky.
And if you do that, eventually that emotion will subside and dissolve. In fact, it will have been healed. Negative feelings (emotions) come because you thought or did something negative in the past, stored the feelings, and here they are, disturbing your happiness now.
So why not make the future full of happiness and positivity by thinking and feeling positive.
First - understand these feelings will come. They come from the past. You stored them up in your subconscious yesterday, last year or may be when you were a child. And they have to come out.
Second – don't fight or struggle with them. Just watch them, observe them, accept them, but don't identify with them, they will pass with just as easily as clouds roll across the sky.
And if you do that, eventually that emotion will subside and dissolve. In fact, it will have been healed. Negative feelings (emotions) come because you thought or did something negative in the past, stored the feelings, and here they are, disturbing your happiness now.
So why not make the future full of happiness and positivity by thinking and feeling positive.
Joy of sharing
When we think of sharing, we sometimes wonder if it is really beneficial. Normally the belief is that when we share any thing or resource, we find ourselves a little poorer with that resource. So we do not want to consistently share, which is believed, will bring benefit only to the other person. When we share inner resources like happiness, peace, love etc. we are enriched. Every time we give, we not only get back from others but also experience that quality ourselves. When we share our physical resources too, it is our own experience, which is important than the outcome. That means, I enjoy giving itself rather than expect appreciation (which may or may not come!)
Monday, September 15, 2008
Positive Thinking
Positive Thinking
Given below are some examples of simple positive affirmations (thoughts) that you can make about oneself, others, real life situations and the future, which will assist you in becoming a positive thinker.
The self:
I do like myself; I accept my weaknesses; I understand myself; I have special skills and qualities; I value myself; I believe in myself; I am lovable.
Others:
I accept others as they are; I look for the best in others; there is something good in everyone I meet; I appreciate others.
A real life situation:
I am capable of handling the situation; I have all I need; I am fortunate; there is a bright side to everything; nothing lasts forever.
The future:
I look forward to each day; every difficult situation is an opportunity/challenge in disguise; each day brings something new and beautiful, something to learn.
Monday, September 08, 2008
How much we love him?
Dear friends
Let us do a simple exercise today
1. Make a small circle and inside write the persons name whom we cherish the most in our life.
2. Make another circle outside the previous circle and write next two names according to priority.
3. Now make another circle outside the second circle and put next five names.
Now check if any of the circle contains God's name. I think it is no for most of us.
Whenever we have problem , we look upwards for solution. We say we believe in God and he helps in disguise if we pray from our heart. Just imagine if only believing and praying can help us a lot, what will the love do.
Let us do a simple exercise today
1. Make a small circle and inside write the persons name whom we cherish the most in our life.
2. Make another circle outside the previous circle and write next two names according to priority.
3. Now make another circle outside the second circle and put next five names.
Now check if any of the circle contains God's name. I think it is no for most of us.
Whenever we have problem , we look upwards for solution. We say we believe in God and he helps in disguise if we pray from our heart. Just imagine if only believing and praying can help us a lot, what will the love do.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Self Empowerment
Self Empowerment
Our decisions create foundations in our life and our decisions are based on our internal strengths i.e how we relate to others and how we understand ourselves. Most of the people are never aware about their real strengths throughout their life and they never achive the target they are capable of.
To realize and review your strengths, sit comfortably in a pleasant atmosphere and answer silently the following questions:
Our decisions create foundations in our life and our decisions are based on our internal strengths i.e how we relate to others and how we understand ourselves. Most of the people are never aware about their real strengths throughout their life and they never achive the target they are capable of.
To realize and review your strengths, sit comfortably in a pleasant atmosphere and answer silently the following questions:
A. Look back into the past and remember the times when you experienced your greatest successes. List the unique talents or strengths, which you made, use of at those times.
B. List the specific features, which you admire in yourself.
C. If you were to take the opinion of your family, friends and colleagues, what strengths would they say that you have?
D. List your most valuable assets.
E. Now examine your answers and summarize.
What your get are your main strengths?
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Anger Management
Hi friends,
I have read a very nice article on Anger Management that I would like to share with you also.
Anger Management
For some time therapists have believed that anger is OK - in fact, many therapists still believe that it's good to get angry once in a while. Around fifteen years ago in Japan it was discovered that around 10,000 executives were dying every year from overwork (Karoshi) and they found the cause to be excessive, but suppressed, anger. So they created 'anger rooms' in the basements of their offices, padded the walls and put a baseball bat in the room. They told executives, that if they felt anger developing inside them they should go to the room and just hit the walls with the bat as hard, and as much, as they wanted in order to get the anger out of their system. Two years later they measured the results. The amount of anger had increased. Why? After much thinking they eventually realized that people who were going to the rooms regularly were practicing getting angry and simply repeating the habit. The message - don't suppress and don't express your anger - transform it.
I have read a very nice article on Anger Management that I would like to share with you also.
Anger Management
For some time therapists have believed that anger is OK - in fact, many therapists still believe that it's good to get angry once in a while. Around fifteen years ago in Japan it was discovered that around 10,000 executives were dying every year from overwork (Karoshi) and they found the cause to be excessive, but suppressed, anger. So they created 'anger rooms' in the basements of their offices, padded the walls and put a baseball bat in the room. They told executives, that if they felt anger developing inside them they should go to the room and just hit the walls with the bat as hard, and as much, as they wanted in order to get the anger out of their system. Two years later they measured the results. The amount of anger had increased. Why? After much thinking they eventually realized that people who were going to the rooms regularly were practicing getting angry and simply repeating the habit. The message - don't suppress and don't express your anger - transform it.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Stress management
Symptoms Of Stress
After working for months, years altogether without taking a break for ourselves, we feel stressed. Our difficulty tends to be reflected in certain physiological and psychological symptoms, whose importance we may not fully understand. These are normal signs that indicates we should re-evaluate our priorities. Our body, or our state of mind, is telling us that something in our lives needs to be changed. Listed here are some of the common signs:
1. Loneliness – We may feel isolated from friends and family, or have a lasting sense of being "lonely in a crowd".
2. Insecurity – We may suddenly feel shy or exposed around people with whom we are usually filled with confidence. Or we may believe that we are always being judged or criticized.
3. Loss of concentration and memory – We may find it hard to recall recent conversations or promises. We may often feel confused, so that understanding and retaining information could also be very difficult.
4. Fatigue and sleeping difficulties – Although we may feel constantly tired, we could also find it impossible to get to sleep.
5. Tears and mood swings – One of the most common symptoms is that we cry easily. We may also be prone to mood swings – bouts of joyousness alternating with sadness.
6. Restlessness - We could have difficulty sitting still over even short periods of time and we may play with our hands, twiddling our thumbs or playing with the rings on our fingers.
7. Impatience And Short-temperedness - We could find ourselves becoming angry at any moment for simple reasons; or we may snap at people, too quick to assume that they are accusing us.
8.. Obsessive Working - Treating work as a refuge can be a stress symptom, although stress can also manifest itself as absenteeism.
9. Loss Of Appetite - Food doesn't interest us anymore. Either we don't eat, or we over-consume junk food, or whatever is in the store cupboard or fridge.
10 . Fear Of Silence - Silence may cause us discomfort, so that we "over-talk" when with other people or leave on the radio or television when alone. Alternatively, we may be intolerant of noise.
How to tackle Stress
Most of the times we are mainly concentrating on maintaining our physical body,. we give importance to diet, exercise and to proper rest or sleep .
What about our the non-physical self or soul,. Do we ever think about that? Lack of proper diet, exercise or sleep can make us physically unhealthy but simultaneously we need to make sure that we feed our intellect also with positive thoughts. Attention needs to be kept on the diet of the intellect also. If we keep feeding it with positive thoughts, then automatically it will make us free from any heaviness and we will feel the lightness of our own mind.
Our mind is always occupied with thoughts, that we are scared of the silence. It is very important to give enough rest to the soul. The way we sleep to energize the body, we need to give rest to the soul also by maintaining ourselves in the form of silence. Refuse to do anything for only one minute. Try to maintain just one minute of silence and calmness every hour to gives rest to our mind and believe me it will empower you for the rest of the hour. So we are able to do our work more efficiently and effectively.
The regular practice of meditation for 5-10 minutes every morning is the best exercise for the soul. Meditation will help us master our senses, think more peacefully and powerfully. It helps to maintain our focus of inner attention and therefore remain undisturbed by external events that keep on happening during the day(at the workplace or at home).
The question comes in our minds, how to medidate? Would I be able to medidate without the help of a guide. Yes , anybody can medidate. The only thing needed is the wish to attain the calmness of mind.
Meditation For Beginners
Make an appointment with yourself for 5 to 10 minutes each morning or evening and follow the instructions given below:
1.. The first step in your journey towards experiencing your true state of inner peace is dedicating a place or space in your home where you will practice your meditation regularly, even if it's just an armchair. Always use this chair, this space when you can.
2. In this space, place two or three objects, which represent peace to you. Soft music, soft red light and lighting an incense stick ('agarbatti') can make the atmosphere soothing and relaxing Keep your eyes open and without staring, gently rest them on a chosen point somewhere in front of you in the room. After using this space for your practice of meditation for a few days, you will experience that the atmosphere of this space has elevated itself to a higher spiritual plane and this will help your practice further
3. Don't try to stop thinking; just be the observer: not judging or being carried away by your own thoughts, just watching.
4. Now, create one thought about yourself; for example, "I am a peaceful being of light, situated in the centre of my forehead".
5. Hold that thought on the screen of your mind; visualize yourself being peaceful, quiet and still.
6. Stay as long as you can in the awareness of that thought. Don't fight any other thoughts or memories that may come to distract you. Just watch them pass by and return to your created thought, "I am a peaceful being".
Exploration and experimentation of a few methods of meditation is required before one decides which is the most appropriate method for him/her. One can know through a combination of intuition and experience. One may experience a few moments of peace while gazing into a candle flame but it is unlikely to help one change a pattern of negative thinking and acting. The rhythm of a mantra being chanted verbally, or even mentally, may erase anxious and angry thoughts (stress) for a while, but it won't change the hidden beliefs and perceptions which are responsible for one's stressful emotions.
The soul has seven original positive virtues - peace, joy, love, bliss, knowledge, purity and power. In meditation, we create an awareness of ourselves as a soul, which leads to an experience of these qualities. The non-physical soul is closely connected with each cell of the physical body. These qualities of the soul flow as spiritual energy to each cell and nourish them. The mind acts as a sieve (mesh) between this spiritual energy and the body. When the mind creates negative thoughts, the sieve of the mind gets blocked thereby blocking the flow of this spiritual energy, which leads to disease. These negative thoughts attract toxins, viruses, bacteria, etc. towards cells of the diseased organ. The immune system also gets damaged which leads to disease. Positive thoughts have the reverse effect
A good test of any method is to ask yourself five questions:
1. Does it increase my self awareness?
2. Does it help me understand myself better?
3. Does it empower me to transform my deepest negative habits?
4. Does it help bring a lighter and more positive energy to my relationships?
5. Does it help me 'see' more clearly my values and my purpose in life.
Creating Positive Thought
while interacting with your family members or colleagues, emerge positive energizing thoughts in your mind like
I am a peaceful soul
I am the child of the Supreme Soul, the ocean of peace
I am a soul full of love
I am a blissful soul
I am a powerful soul
These positive thoughts will spread in your home and office in the form of positive vibrations and have a positive influence on your family members and colleagues also. As a result you can maintain your peaceful, positive state even amidst actions and interactions with them. When you are clearly established in this stage of self-respect, they will be more co-operative in your work and will have greater respect for you. Obstacles from your surroundings will not affect you.
Comparison with Others
One of the most important human characteristics is that we are each unique human beings, with unique histories, patterns of thinking and personalities. One of the deepest habits that we learn in our childhood is to compare ourselves with others. We must understand that comparison always ends in failure, especially if we are dependent on being like someone else for how we feel about ourselves. This habit of comparison and imitation is one of the greatest killers of self-esteem. It stops us from growing as well as knowing our true potential. By comparison, we set the target what the other person has achieved. May be we have a potential of even surpassing that person, but we are limiting our self to the target somebody else has achieved. And so the first and most important step in building our self-esteem is to break the habit of comparison, and to stop unconsciously trying to be like someone else.
Instead of comparing yourself with others, just sit and find out what are your own talents and strengths, that make you unique. Focus on those qualities rather than thinking of the qualities you lack. Focus on your positive aspects.
You know, it is not others who make you feel stressed, it is in fact you yourself , who is stressing you the most. You say how do I manage both the office and home. I am managing the family, children, home alone. It is too stressful. In fact , it is your own thought to excel , which is making you stressed. You take up all the responsibility happily because you have decided to take it. No body has forced you to take that.
You like to teach your children that is why you have taken the responsibility, you can even get it done with the help of a tutor also.
You like to cook for your family so you happily take up that job, else it could be done with the help of an external help also.
You feel satisfied when your husband, boss or children are happy with you, so the stress to make them happy is imposed by your own self not by others.
You like to decorate your house and you like inviting people to your house. Then from where comes the pressure of work.
You like when your mom-in–law is satisfied with you, that is why you do all activities even though they do not attract you.
What if , you don’t do all those activities. You will not feel satisfied because you are allowing yourself to feel that way. So, it is not others who create pressure on you, it is you yourself, who is creating stress.
How to change the Think Pattern
In order to bring about a fundamental or transformational change in yourself three elements need to exist simultaneously:
Focus: A clear sense of purpose in life and clear goals to guide your life's activities.
Will: The motivation and enthusiasm to introduce and sustain the actions.
Capabilities: The skills and abilities to fulfill your purpose and goals.
But where do you start? There is definitely a right place to begin and that is with your focus. Why? Because if your focus is powerful and based on a very deep sense of your inner most purpose in life, then that will provide you with the will power you need to keep going. Then if you have a clear driving focus in life and lots of will power to back it up, you will soon develop the skills and capabilities you need to make it happen. You may not have them yourself, but your enthusiasm and passion will certainly inspire others who do have them to join you.
Our thoughts can be classified into four main types - positive, necessary, waste and negative. On an average we create 25-30 thoughts / minute. When we are under any sort of stress or anxiety, this number increases and when our mind is relaxed or when we are asleep, this number reduces. Overall our mind creates around 30,000-40,000 thoughts in a day.
A very large percentage of our thoughts are negative or waste in nature, which is the root cause of all our stresses and strains. The regular practice of meditation helps us reduce this percentage and raise the percentage of positive thoughts, as a result of which we can experience a relaxed state of mind.
To experience peace is to be in one powerful stage. The more the thoughts we have, the lesser the peace that is experienced in the mind. When we are able to maintain a powerful thought throughout the day whatever the situations come our way we can experience constant peace. Right in the morning let us take a thought that is positive and powerful. For example, 'victory is my birthright' or 'I am always fortunate'. Whatever the situations we come across, let us emerge this thought and we will be able to maintain peace.
After working for months, years altogether without taking a break for ourselves, we feel stressed. Our difficulty tends to be reflected in certain physiological and psychological symptoms, whose importance we may not fully understand. These are normal signs that indicates we should re-evaluate our priorities. Our body, or our state of mind, is telling us that something in our lives needs to be changed. Listed here are some of the common signs:
1. Loneliness – We may feel isolated from friends and family, or have a lasting sense of being "lonely in a crowd".
2. Insecurity – We may suddenly feel shy or exposed around people with whom we are usually filled with confidence. Or we may believe that we are always being judged or criticized.
3. Loss of concentration and memory – We may find it hard to recall recent conversations or promises. We may often feel confused, so that understanding and retaining information could also be very difficult.
4. Fatigue and sleeping difficulties – Although we may feel constantly tired, we could also find it impossible to get to sleep.
5. Tears and mood swings – One of the most common symptoms is that we cry easily. We may also be prone to mood swings – bouts of joyousness alternating with sadness.
6. Restlessness - We could have difficulty sitting still over even short periods of time and we may play with our hands, twiddling our thumbs or playing with the rings on our fingers.
7. Impatience And Short-temperedness - We could find ourselves becoming angry at any moment for simple reasons; or we may snap at people, too quick to assume that they are accusing us.
8.. Obsessive Working - Treating work as a refuge can be a stress symptom, although stress can also manifest itself as absenteeism.
9. Loss Of Appetite - Food doesn't interest us anymore. Either we don't eat, or we over-consume junk food, or whatever is in the store cupboard or fridge.
10 . Fear Of Silence - Silence may cause us discomfort, so that we "over-talk" when with other people or leave on the radio or television when alone. Alternatively, we may be intolerant of noise.
How to tackle Stress
Most of the times we are mainly concentrating on maintaining our physical body,. we give importance to diet, exercise and to proper rest or sleep .
What about our the non-physical self or soul,. Do we ever think about that? Lack of proper diet, exercise or sleep can make us physically unhealthy but simultaneously we need to make sure that we feed our intellect also with positive thoughts. Attention needs to be kept on the diet of the intellect also. If we keep feeding it with positive thoughts, then automatically it will make us free from any heaviness and we will feel the lightness of our own mind.
Our mind is always occupied with thoughts, that we are scared of the silence. It is very important to give enough rest to the soul. The way we sleep to energize the body, we need to give rest to the soul also by maintaining ourselves in the form of silence. Refuse to do anything for only one minute. Try to maintain just one minute of silence and calmness every hour to gives rest to our mind and believe me it will empower you for the rest of the hour. So we are able to do our work more efficiently and effectively.
The regular practice of meditation for 5-10 minutes every morning is the best exercise for the soul. Meditation will help us master our senses, think more peacefully and powerfully. It helps to maintain our focus of inner attention and therefore remain undisturbed by external events that keep on happening during the day(at the workplace or at home).
The question comes in our minds, how to medidate? Would I be able to medidate without the help of a guide. Yes , anybody can medidate. The only thing needed is the wish to attain the calmness of mind.
Meditation For Beginners
Make an appointment with yourself for 5 to 10 minutes each morning or evening and follow the instructions given below:
1.. The first step in your journey towards experiencing your true state of inner peace is dedicating a place or space in your home where you will practice your meditation regularly, even if it's just an armchair. Always use this chair, this space when you can.
2. In this space, place two or three objects, which represent peace to you. Soft music, soft red light and lighting an incense stick ('agarbatti') can make the atmosphere soothing and relaxing Keep your eyes open and without staring, gently rest them on a chosen point somewhere in front of you in the room. After using this space for your practice of meditation for a few days, you will experience that the atmosphere of this space has elevated itself to a higher spiritual plane and this will help your practice further
3. Don't try to stop thinking; just be the observer: not judging or being carried away by your own thoughts, just watching.
4. Now, create one thought about yourself; for example, "I am a peaceful being of light, situated in the centre of my forehead".
5. Hold that thought on the screen of your mind; visualize yourself being peaceful, quiet and still.
6. Stay as long as you can in the awareness of that thought. Don't fight any other thoughts or memories that may come to distract you. Just watch them pass by and return to your created thought, "I am a peaceful being".
Exploration and experimentation of a few methods of meditation is required before one decides which is the most appropriate method for him/her. One can know through a combination of intuition and experience. One may experience a few moments of peace while gazing into a candle flame but it is unlikely to help one change a pattern of negative thinking and acting. The rhythm of a mantra being chanted verbally, or even mentally, may erase anxious and angry thoughts (stress) for a while, but it won't change the hidden beliefs and perceptions which are responsible for one's stressful emotions.
The soul has seven original positive virtues - peace, joy, love, bliss, knowledge, purity and power. In meditation, we create an awareness of ourselves as a soul, which leads to an experience of these qualities. The non-physical soul is closely connected with each cell of the physical body. These qualities of the soul flow as spiritual energy to each cell and nourish them. The mind acts as a sieve (mesh) between this spiritual energy and the body. When the mind creates negative thoughts, the sieve of the mind gets blocked thereby blocking the flow of this spiritual energy, which leads to disease. These negative thoughts attract toxins, viruses, bacteria, etc. towards cells of the diseased organ. The immune system also gets damaged which leads to disease. Positive thoughts have the reverse effect
A good test of any method is to ask yourself five questions:
1. Does it increase my self awareness?
2. Does it help me understand myself better?
3. Does it empower me to transform my deepest negative habits?
4. Does it help bring a lighter and more positive energy to my relationships?
5. Does it help me 'see' more clearly my values and my purpose in life.
Creating Positive Thought
while interacting with your family members or colleagues, emerge positive energizing thoughts in your mind like
I am a peaceful soul
I am the child of the Supreme Soul, the ocean of peace
I am a soul full of love
I am a blissful soul
I am a powerful soul
These positive thoughts will spread in your home and office in the form of positive vibrations and have a positive influence on your family members and colleagues also. As a result you can maintain your peaceful, positive state even amidst actions and interactions with them. When you are clearly established in this stage of self-respect, they will be more co-operative in your work and will have greater respect for you. Obstacles from your surroundings will not affect you.
Comparison with Others
One of the most important human characteristics is that we are each unique human beings, with unique histories, patterns of thinking and personalities. One of the deepest habits that we learn in our childhood is to compare ourselves with others. We must understand that comparison always ends in failure, especially if we are dependent on being like someone else for how we feel about ourselves. This habit of comparison and imitation is one of the greatest killers of self-esteem. It stops us from growing as well as knowing our true potential. By comparison, we set the target what the other person has achieved. May be we have a potential of even surpassing that person, but we are limiting our self to the target somebody else has achieved. And so the first and most important step in building our self-esteem is to break the habit of comparison, and to stop unconsciously trying to be like someone else.
Instead of comparing yourself with others, just sit and find out what are your own talents and strengths, that make you unique. Focus on those qualities rather than thinking of the qualities you lack. Focus on your positive aspects.
You know, it is not others who make you feel stressed, it is in fact you yourself , who is stressing you the most. You say how do I manage both the office and home. I am managing the family, children, home alone. It is too stressful. In fact , it is your own thought to excel , which is making you stressed. You take up all the responsibility happily because you have decided to take it. No body has forced you to take that.
You like to teach your children that is why you have taken the responsibility, you can even get it done with the help of a tutor also.
You like to cook for your family so you happily take up that job, else it could be done with the help of an external help also.
You feel satisfied when your husband, boss or children are happy with you, so the stress to make them happy is imposed by your own self not by others.
You like to decorate your house and you like inviting people to your house. Then from where comes the pressure of work.
You like when your mom-in–law is satisfied with you, that is why you do all activities even though they do not attract you.
What if , you don’t do all those activities. You will not feel satisfied because you are allowing yourself to feel that way. So, it is not others who create pressure on you, it is you yourself, who is creating stress.
How to change the Think Pattern
In order to bring about a fundamental or transformational change in yourself three elements need to exist simultaneously:
Focus: A clear sense of purpose in life and clear goals to guide your life's activities.
Will: The motivation and enthusiasm to introduce and sustain the actions.
Capabilities: The skills and abilities to fulfill your purpose and goals.
But where do you start? There is definitely a right place to begin and that is with your focus. Why? Because if your focus is powerful and based on a very deep sense of your inner most purpose in life, then that will provide you with the will power you need to keep going. Then if you have a clear driving focus in life and lots of will power to back it up, you will soon develop the skills and capabilities you need to make it happen. You may not have them yourself, but your enthusiasm and passion will certainly inspire others who do have them to join you.
Our thoughts can be classified into four main types - positive, necessary, waste and negative. On an average we create 25-30 thoughts / minute. When we are under any sort of stress or anxiety, this number increases and when our mind is relaxed or when we are asleep, this number reduces. Overall our mind creates around 30,000-40,000 thoughts in a day.
A very large percentage of our thoughts are negative or waste in nature, which is the root cause of all our stresses and strains. The regular practice of meditation helps us reduce this percentage and raise the percentage of positive thoughts, as a result of which we can experience a relaxed state of mind.
To experience peace is to be in one powerful stage. The more the thoughts we have, the lesser the peace that is experienced in the mind. When we are able to maintain a powerful thought throughout the day whatever the situations come our way we can experience constant peace. Right in the morning let us take a thought that is positive and powerful. For example, 'victory is my birthright' or 'I am always fortunate'. Whatever the situations we come across, let us emerge this thought and we will be able to maintain peace.
Quality Time
QUALITY TIME
In todays fast paced life, the females are on our toes from morning to night. Especially if you are working, you have to shoulder all the responsibilities of managing the home, kitchen, children, their homeworks etc. The burden becomes additional during the exam times. Here are some practical ways in which you can take out some quality time for yourself and your family, despite your busy schedule.Mrs. Pillai is a busy mother of two children aged 15 and 10. Despite her work schedule, she tries to be available for her family whenever they need her. She's up and in the kitchen by 5:00 am, preparing lunch for the family. The school van comes around 8 a.m. She wakes them up at 6.30 am and the children are ready by 7:45 a.m. She makes sure that the children do some morning prayer, let it be for 2 to 5 minutes, but it does prepare the children for the day ahead in a positive manner. She herself leaves at 8:30 am. Nowadays it is increasingly common for both parents to work. We remember as children most of us spent adequate time with parents or grand parents. Here's how you can ensure your children don't lose out on this time with family.
Husband’s support in household work
If you and your husband are both working, it is fair that he should help out at home as well - and this means he can set the uniforms in the morning, be with the children , make sure that they take the breakfast properly while you are in the kitchen. If you cook, let him clean, if you put the clothes for a wash, he can remove them from the machine. Let him iron his share of clothes if you are not giving them outside. This will leave you with more free time to spend with the children. It is also healthy for your children to watch both parents helping out at home. Involve the children in work around the house. In case your husband is not willing to share the responsibility, don't take all the responsibility instead get household help.
Morning time
Morning times are rushed in most households. Do take out few minutes to cuddle them while waking up, this will ensure a special bonding between you and your children. Play a spiritual CD in order to make the atmosphere slightly holistic. Remember , if your family has a positive environment, it is very unlikely that your children will go to the wrong path in life. Try to be around your children for breakfast, normally this time children have few things to tell you about school, friends, which they had forgotton to tell you the previous day as you were away at your workplace.
Lunch time
If you are a working mother, try and organise someone to cook for the family, instead of cooking all the meals. Alternatively, find out if you can organise someone to send a 'tiffin' over to your husband's office or child's school. Do your research to ensure the meal is healthy and without much oil. This way you can still cook on weekends and cook dinners if you enjoy cooking. At least lunch is taken care of and mornings will leave you with more time to spend with your family or to rest.
Dinner time
Make it a point that all the members of family have the dinner together and don't serve the family. Instead, let everyone help themselves so you can then sit down to eat together . Do not switch on the T.V at this time, as this will hamper the interaction between the family members or you can play the games like scrabble, mind puzzles with the children after the dinner for some time.
Prayer time Inculcate the habit of spending five minutes before retiring to bed to thank God for all he has done. This will go a long way in bringing peace and harmony in your home, and instilling right values in your children.
Holiday time
Plan holidays well. Decide well in advance what you will be doing over the weekend. If you have a plan, you can spend the weekend well. If you don't have a plan, everyone will probably just do his or her own thing. Time is something we can never have enough of, so spend it wisely. Nothing compares to the strength you derive from the feeling being part of a warm, loving family.
Female Friend
Saheli means a female friend in Hindi Language. This blog is meant for all the females aged 4 to 80 to share their views, problems, lives and to exchange their ideas
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